I carried you in my belly for 9 months. I went through 13 hours of hard labor for my first son then sliced pelvic bone to pelvic bone for the last two. I wiped your ass for 3 years until you could do it for yourself. Through the hell off potty training even when u hid behind the couch to poop. Yea I knew, it was written all over your face.
Even when dad yelled while potty training you and you tried to catch his flow lol. Glad I wasn’t there. I would have died laughing. When your brother played in a poopy potty seat because dad didn’t get to it fast enough. When you got your heart broke by your first girl and would only talk to dad about it.
Mom went through it, I had my heart broken but you live through it. Mom wears her heart on her sleeve. It’s just a part of growing up. You all made it out of high school. Mom only had to go to one meeting that she wanted to kill a school advisor at. Man head start was so much easier. Reading books and going on field trips. Your excitement when you all saw your first cow 🐮. The huge smile my youngest had, when he got to sit on a huge tractor 🚜. All the great teachers that helped get you ready for regular school. Sad 😔 to say I was not ready for your first day. Or even graduation 👨🎓.
Dom graduating from college and I couldn’t go. NYC way too scary for me. It was painful. You are my babies I didn’t want you to grow up. I still don’t.
Your dad and I have stuck it out for all those years. I remember us really sticking together when I was pregnant. I woke up stuck to his back. I leaked breast milk all over him and we stuck together. He had very soft skin on his back in those days. Breast milk is good for your skin, who knew. That was not the only time my breast milk made us laugh. It was like torpedos in the shower it squirted every where. Even an innocent friend got it from across the room. Babies 👶 don’t help much with that. A turn of the head and it’s like a squirt gun. Look 👀 out anyone within 15 feet squirting distance. If you get squirted be happy 😊 you where the “chosen one “ lol 😆 In my defense you where in the wrong place at the wrong time. The people we hear 👂 that use it in their coffee ☕️ are just nasty 🤢. I don’t hangout with them. Damn weird os. You will get nowhere in life and mom wouldn’t approve. Not as if you ever listened to me much. I always over reacted but hey you survived I didn’t get you killed or hurt that much.
When it comes time for you to have children 👶 of your own I have a little bit of advice take it or leave it. I made it through many years with you all and I’m not completely grey or crazy 😜. Well crazy is still up for further discussion 😝 Some house advice, No matter how pretty the paint the cracks will show back up.
Like in relationships find the inner problem don’t just cover it up. If left alone it just gets worse. Get a good alarm clock ⏰ you don’t want to miss anything. Take lots of pictures. Make a scrapbook they are very useful when you get older and your memory goes like dad’s. Also they are a great way to embarrass your kids when they bring special people home 🏠 to meet you. Potty training pics are the best.
As I sit here on Christmas 🎄 2018. I think of all the fun stuff we’ve done through the years.
All of the runs to the emergency room with Brian Jr when he was younger. The day in Sidney Dom tried to do a bunny hop on his bike. The day logan got cut above his eye. I almost passed out 😵 a few times seeing you guys get stitches. It was horrific. Someone causing pain to one of my babies 👶 “How dare they” !!!! Such brave boys through it all. Some fun along the way too. Dominic coming to see Jr after his ear surgery. The duck hat was precious. Everyone coming back from trick or treating in Sidney. All laughing because Jr fell and his Dixie horn went off. That was a great 🎃. So glad dad made Brian Jr’s General lee costume. The year in Sidney where we made all the fake head stones. I couldn’t believe people were stopping and taking pictures. It was awesome. I’d love to go back to those happy days. I hope you all have some memorable moments from childhood. To live it again would be Priceless. But as we all know if we could go back we would. So when you have your own kids don’t try to rush. You too will get to a day where your house is silent and you wonder where time went. This is life. We all live it. Try to enjoy it while you can and always remember I am just a phone call away. All the love in my heart goes to you and dad. Just wish grandpa could see you know all grown up. I’ll treasure the memories every day.
I’m at a strange stage of life with an open road ahead and so many possibilities. How do I choose what is right? Do I have to choose just one thing ? Such a dilemma. I hate making choices for fear of leaving someone behind or loosing a loved one. Every day it seems as if another page has turned. As a female, a mother and a wife it seems my days are full of decisions. Do I get another job? Do I wait and return to my last job? How will my decisions effect my sons? Where does my journey go from here? A million questions asked every day. Is their a book to help us on our journey ? Is their a group to give us support? What if we chose the wrong path ? Can we go back? Where can I find a guided path? Is their anyone out there that can provide guidance? These are all questions most of us are asking. I’m going to search the internet in hopes of answers. Maybe I can ask others that have already been where I am know. I will share my findings along the way. If anyone has any tips please share. I don’t know where I am headed but I pray for clarification along the way. I’ll write when my heart says to. I’ll share so if anyone follows it might help others. If anyone is on this journey too please reach out to me. A journey with friends is always a journey enjoyed.
My choices are easy for some but people like me that are indecisive are going to struggle. Maybe I should go easy way out and flip a coin. Maybe s roll of the dice. Close my eyes and pick from a list. Or better yet have hubby decide for me lol. I’m torn between what society would choose and what my heart says to do ☹️ I wonder how other people decide on big decisions ?? 🤔 In school they said make a list of pros and cons. One would stand out but what if they are equal ? Am I strong enough to choose both and let time figure it out? I asked my husband and he said he will support whatever decision I choose. He’s a very supportive man. My angel in work boots behind the wheel of a big rig. After 20 years I still get overwhelmed by the love I have for this man. He’s my rock my soulmate.
This week closes a chapter in my life ☹️ Friday 11/23 is my last day of work for Aspira. I’m being laid off. Can reapply next year if I want to. My supervisor Lia Mebane says she hopes I do. I have other job opportunity with a tax firm. I just need to finish signing up. It’s January thru April with possibility of full year if I do good. Intellectual wise it will be more fulfilling since that’s what I went to college for. Emotionally not thinking it will fulfill my need to help others like this job does. It’s my dilemma of what is more important for me ??? Ugggg ☹️☹️ I am thinking hard but have no clue what to choose. I wish I could make money with my crafts that’s what I enjoy the most but no money in that. I’d love to write a book but not having much luck with that. It’s easy for those to share advice but there are no quick fixes. No magic pills. No prescriptions. Some of us fight this battle alone and some with a loved one. I’ve searched the internet for an instruction book and have had no luck I didn’t find classes to enroll into either. Some have moms that can help but my mom is ill equipped. She has good intentions but not much information. It’s due to the way she was raised. Her father was an alcoholic and very abusive. I’m sure they never talked about feelings or what was right in life. He chased my uncle away to join the military and he became a lifer. Sometimes it’s best to run away, murder does not look good on a resume. From what i’ve learned reconnecting with my uncle that could have happened. I personally think it would have been well deserved. Beating your tiny little wife is horrid. Back in those days it was a daily thing. I’m glad times have changed at least a little bit.
Date night October20, 2018
I’ve joined a facebook group called “Spiritual G Spot”. You can join it here https://www.facebook.com/groups/219129234948553/. The lady that runs it does motivating posts daily. I hope it encourages you to live your life fully. Like she says let your light shine and you can never be “Too much woman”. I’m hoping to go see her in person at Niagara Falls. Hubby knows where that is since he goes there every day for work.
It’s a blessed day, 8 am is so peaceful maybe I’ll get up early from now on and write. Today is my last day of work. I have a 2 hour shift then I’m done 😦 for how long I’m not sure but it gives me time to focus on myself and what’s my next step. I will end this here and go enjoy my day. My oldest is here for Thanksgiving and I want to enjoy my time with him. Later he heads back to the Big city not sure when we will see him again. He brought his girlfriend with him and she’ s super nice. We also got to meet Aaron’s new wife she is great. We plan on going to Mississippi soon to see them again. I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving and I’ll be back soon. Just remember to hug your trucker tight. Mine has my heart and I will be sad Sunday when he returns to normal work. Until then I will enjoy him being around. Or at least until he pisses me off lol.
Here are a few questions no one ever asks but were bugging me. Click on the blue words for links to more information. This is perfect for family night trivia. I’ve also added a yummy taco recipe for you to enjoy together 🤩
I hope you enjoy this trivia and these tacos. I personally have never tried this recipe. I do a basic no measure one. I brown 1 1/2 pounds ground beef and ground turkey mix. The turkey helps lower the calories. I rinse off grease then add water as called for on the packet. Sometimes we use Old El Paso other days we use a generic brand. I cut up normal lettuce, tomato, shredded cheese. If we are doing soft tacos I sometime heat up a can of black beans. Rinse and strain before use. The slime at he bottom of the can can make you lose your appetite. We serve sour cream on the side if anyone wants it. Sometimes we substitute ground meat with boneless skinless chicken breast. Cut into small pieces of course. Buffet style set up is best. Lots less mess to clean up. Paper plates or styrofoam plates are good to use. We have a back deck that is perfect for this meal. My boys and hubby really enjoy these relaxed type of meals. Know I have trivia questions to ask hem. Who knows maybe it will start a new family tradition. Possibly can do on a Saturday night since everyone has those off from work. Can put a blanket own on he floor in our living room for cold New York nights. It would kinda be like a picnic. It might be fun for everyone.
We could even do it in our pj’s. I buy us a pair every year for Christmas Eve. I usually get matching ones from Kohl’s but this year I’m going to try target. That is my new favorite store. I signed up on a whim my last visit. They gave me a credit card and I earned $10 in gift cards with my last purchase. They have great sales and have a good coupon policy. They allow you to match paper coupons with digital ones using their cartwheel app. You can find it described more by following this link. If I can ever figure out how to fix my Apple ID I would download it again. Something to add to my ever growing To Do list. I have a few more wreaths to make for friend and family gifts first. I hope they like them. I enjoyed making them. The tri colored one I’m thinking of adding a small chalkboard to it. Can write Merry Christmas on it or whatever suits your fancy. Maybe you would prefer it in Polish like our friends the Lis family. Either way you get to choose.
If you have a favorite recipe feel free to share it with me. Maybe next time I’ll post your recipe. As always hug your trucker tight. I’m sure he will enjoy these tacos after a long run and might even know the trivia answers too.